Seeing Quintuple: An investigation of Bethel’s five Brads
CHARLOTTE EHRMANN Copy Editor
Before attending Bethel College I had no clue just how common the name Brad really was. For all of you new students on campus who are lost and confused and need a way to tell these five men apart I have just the guide for you. So I introduce to you, A Guide to Identify Which Bethel Brad You Have Met:
We will start with Brad Born, for both alphabetical reasons and for the fact that Brad Born teaches First-Year Seminar. This Brad can be identified by his bald head and pep-in-his-step. Which is why I shall refer to him simply as Motivated Brad. Engage in conversation with this Brad and you will find yourself motivated to walk with a little extra bounce in your step. Fun bonus tip: ask Motivated Brad to bust out his infamous Elmo voice or draw a threshing stone.
Next up is the newest addition to the Brad team, Brad Celestin. This Brad can be identified by his luscious locks and his constant searching for the deeper meaning of the universe. And in order to fully contemplate the meaning of the universe one can simply not have their hair in their eyes. Thus, he shall be referred to as Manbun Brad. Speak to Manbun Brad and ask what deep thoughts he has to offer you today.
Brad Kohlman is next on the list of Brad’s. As vice president for institutional advancement, you can either find this Brad in various meetings around campus or parked in his office doing administrative duties. That being said, Brad is not all work and no play. While in these various meetings, this Brad has been known to crack a few jokes and keep things lighthearted. Even though this Brad will be known as ‘Ministration Brad, there’s a deeper side to this Brad. Ask him to tell you a joke or about his family.
If you find yourself in the Advancement Office after visiting with ‘Ministration Brad, don’t fret, you’re in the right place to meet yet another Brad. Step into the office of Brad Schmidt to meet the coolest Brad yet. This Brad likes to live life on the edge with his love of spicy food and most importantly, his sweet ride: a motorcycle. Though he may not look it, this Brad is tough as nails. In this case I shall refer to him as Motorcycle Brad. Stop Motorcycle Brad if you’re wanting to talk about anything from alumni relations to living life dangerously.
Last but not least on the list of Brad’s, is Bethel’s very own steel drum playing, Brad Shores. This Brad runs the on-campus pep band and steel drum band. Follow this Brad on Facebook to watch his live videos of him performing a steel drum concert for you in the comfort of your own home. Since this Brad is so musically involved on campus, he shall be known as Music Brad. Talk with this Brad about joining steel drum band, or even pep band for the home football and basketball games.
No matter what your area of study is you are sure to run into each Brad at least once in your years at Bethel. Just remember the five m’s to keep them apart: Motivated Brad (Brad Born), Manbun Brad (Brad Celestin), Ministration Brad (Brad Kohlman), Motorcycle Brad (Brad Schmidt) and Music Brad (Brad Shores).